Tuesday, January 8, 2019

An Ode to the Stillness and Silence of the Night

     I could go to sleep.  I mean, it's almost eleven o'clock and I have work tomorrow morning at 8:30.  Officially, it's because my hair's wet and there are few things I hate more than sleeping with wet hair.
     In reality, though, it's because the more enticing option is to sit here and type while my space heater does miracles and I listen to various scores from the Mission: Impossible movies.
     And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have next to no social life.
     Not that I'm complaining.  Trust me, if I wanted to be sociable and spend my nights out on the town, I would.  But I learned long ago that that is simply not the life for me.  I much prefer to sit comfortably, all wrapped up in a blanket, and read a book, listen to music, write nonsense, or watch a movie.  And if I'm really ambitious, I'll do all four (but not at the same time).
     I just love staying up.  Night time is my time, and I think part of it has to do with the fact that I have no choice but to retreat into my own little world.  I can be as thoroughly emotional or emotionless as I so choose, and it affects no one but myself.  No one ever need know that I've kept the same score on repeat since ten o'clock.
     Well, I suppose you now know.
     Oh, but I truly do hate waking up before nine in the morning.  8:00 to 8:30 is manageable, but in my opinion, there's no reason the world should start before eight in the morning.  Alas, I am not in charge, and the world keeps waking up at dismally early hours.
     Sometimes I wonder if there's a purpose to it -- me staying up late, I mean.  I know for myself that I thoroughly enjoy these silent hours that I can mold with my thoughts.
     Is it lonely?  Oh, terribly.  But I enjoy that.  I like being alone, and I think that's part of the reason I enjoy staying up late -- I can be by myself with no one to interrupt me.  But then there are times I look around and truly feel the emptiness in the silence.  There are certainly nights when I desperately wish there was someone else to enjoy the quiet with me.
     The wonderful thing is, there are plenty of people who gladly would.
     But for now, I just sit here in my room, typing out my random thoughts and wondering how on earth we got to this point.  I've gotten used to it by now, though.
     I still wish I didn't have to work at 8:30 tomorrow morning, however.
     "So count your blessings every day.  It makes the monsters go away.  And everything will be okay.
     "You are not alone.  You are right at home.  Goodnight."

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