Food

     I've come to the realization lately that my favorite types of my favorite foods are considered the "fake" versions.
     And no, before you start rolling your eyes, I'm not about to rant about processed foods because I figure, if everyone's bound to get cancer, hot dogs are not the worst way to get there.
     What I mean is that, out of my top five favorite foods, none of them are technically considered the quality--or "real"--options.
     Let's start off with my favorite food of all time: macaroni and cheese.  I love macaroni and cheese to a probably inordinate level.  Back when I was younger (and by that, I mean junior high), I'd scarcely chew it when I ate it.  I'd stick a forkful of mac 'n' cheese in my mouth, chew for .5 seconds, and swallow, because I could not get that delicious happiness into my mouth fast enough, and I could never eat enough of it.  I still can't, especially since my siblings enjoy it too.  But now, I chew my macaroni...mostly.
     But I digress.  Generally, when I say that this is my favorite food, I get the "Oh, do you like boxed or homemade better?"  I proudly say boxed.
     Whoever asks usually gives me a look like I just declared that I enslave children.
     I'm sorry, but I do.  I think part of it might be that I've loved good ol' boxed mac 'n' cheese for years and years, and the first homemade one I tried was not my favorite...and we kept eating it.  It had ham in it, and I don't like that.  There might have been other reasons, but I'm not sure.
     Besides, there are few things more cathartic and satisfying than making a perfect pot of luscious macaroni and cheese in less than half an hour.
     Also, I like my macaroni a certain way.  I like the cheese really creamy and soupy--like, completely liquid.  I do not follow that wimpy 1/4 cup of milk for every box of macaroni.  Plus, I always make two boxes (unless there's an unknown shortage, like there was a couple Saturdays ago, and then I have no choice).
     So, sorry--boxed macaroni and cheese for the win.
     Then, there's popcorn.  I actually chew my popcorn (at least, I chew it more than I chew macaroni and cheese), and I put more effort into controlling my popcorn-eating habits.  I start with just one.  I eat one piece at a time.  At least, until it's easier to just grab two.  I mean, my hand's already in there, right?  Two at a time, two at a time...well, may as well take three, right?  Three at a time, three at a time, five at a time, seven at a time, a whole handf--whoa.
     The sad thing is, I repeat this every time, and still never regret it.
     My favorite type of popcorn is those microwaveable bags, but air-popped is what is socially acceptable food-wise (which I could probably just say as sushi-ally acceptable), because air-popped popcorn is apparently more "real" than the microwaveable goodness.
     Air-popped popcorn just tastes too bland to me, even when butter is poured on it.  And it just never tastes quite the way I want it to.  Microwave popcorn, on the other hand, never disappoints.  Everything just works together properly.  Air-popped popcorn always has something missing.
     And then, there's tacos.  Some of you might be very offended with this section.
     I've loved tacos for a good long while, almost as far back as I can remember.  And my favorite tacos of all time are the tacos from Jack-in-the-Box.
     I'm sure I've just murdered some of you, including my own father.
     "How can you like that fake, Americanized food more than the actual Mexican tacos?!?!?!"
     Um...'cause the fake, Americanized tacos taste better?
     I don't know if you've noticed this yet, but authenticity is not what I'm particularly worried about when it comes to what I eat.
     Of course, the most "real" Mexican tacos I've had are probably from Cafe Río...so maybe I'd like authentic Mexican tacos more than Jack-in-the-Box.
     And then, chocolate.  I never thought that the certain chocolate made in Pennsylvania (I'm not sure what kind of copyright laws there are, and I'd rather not risk it) was considered "fake" until recently.  One of my coworkers lived in Sweden for a couple years, so he experienced that kind of chocolate.  He made a rather snotty comment about my love for the Pennsylvanian chocolate a couple weeks ago (but we're friends, so it was all in good humor, chill).  It was the first time I'd ever considered that I might be getting the short end of the stick.
     But then I remembered that this same coworker had given me some Swedish chocolate to try previously, and I realized that, as good as it was, the Pennsylvanian one is far more magical.
     And finally, there's pizza.  "Fancy" pizza has never impressed me because they always have to pander to those who can afford it, adding fancy sauces and vegetables and rare meats.  Look, just give me a normal pizza from Little Caesar's or Papa Murphy's or even from my own home.
     "So, you like cardboard?"
     Shut up.
     Well, that's my spiel on food.  Enjoy your next meal/snack.
     I hope your day is as awesome as you.