Hello, everyone--you know what, can I just say how annoying it is that I can't greet you by time of day? I can't say "Morning, everybody," or "Afternoon, my friends," or "Evening, good people." None of that!
And you know why?
Because you could possibly read this at a different time of day than I'm writing, and if the first thing you read on my blog is "Evening, good people," but it's 9:00am for you, that will send a subliminal message that I care more about my time than yours, not to mention send another subliminal message that if you're not reading this in the evening, you do not fall under the category of "good people." So, I have to pander to you--you, who has a far too sensitive mind that can make up intentions of other people based on the words they use. What a mess.
Don't get me wrong: I think you're great. But there are certain words and phrases that I like to use, and when I can't use them because it won't work with someone, it's annoying. But hey, at least I can use words like "chill" and "dang it." Because if those were scratched off my list, I'd be a very boring and angry person.
I mean, it's especially frustrating because I don't even know some of the people who read my blog. I have to bend down to the perceptive minds of people I probably will never meet. (Seriously, the amount of pageviews I get from France is astonishing.)
That's my biggest problem with a blog. It's public, so I have to keep that in mind as I'm writing. I would never write down anything even remotely private about myself on here. And that's annoying because I need to put my thoughts where I can see them. Don't get me wrong: I write down my private thoughts. But quite honestly, I feel that this blog is more for me than anyone else. It doesn't make much sense, I know: Why would I want to write my private thoughts on a blog, regardless of privacy? How is it different from writing it anywhere else?
I guess it has more to do with my philosophy that a blog is a place where you can do more than just write out your thoughts; you can put them on display with glowing lights and draped with curtains. A blog, let's face it, is a little more open to creativity than a Word document, no matter what borders and ClipArt you use.
So, if there was a way for me to publish my blog but not really publish it, it would be ideal. If there was absolutely no way that anyone could ever read my blog, I'd jump for the opportunity. I don't like feeling vulnerable. (Note to my AP English teacher who I am sure is reading this: I understand that that is your point, but I certainly don't like it.)
But, my blog is not private. I am not assigned to post weekly to myself. I have to put myself (and my blog) out there to be published. I need my name to become something more official than just the words that mean me. And how do I do that?
You.
You, who I've actually kind of done a lot of complaining about, I just realized. Ouch. Feel free to take it personally.
You, who may not even know who I am. You, who could be a psycho--whether it be in serial killer form or chocolate-hater form. You, who might not even understand a word I write (I know I'm crazy and that my writing is sporadic as heck--I have come to terms with my spastic writing nature).
Thanks.
I know, that was terribly touching and you've been moved to tears. Stop it. That's not a good reason to have water leaking out of your face.
Anyway...I think this is a lot of fun. I like having a blog. I like being able to write random stuff in a place where random writings are expected. I like that I can write out my sarcastic things instead of just letting them stew inside my mind (or popping out at bad moments). I like that I can sit comfortably and type out my thoughts (not the private ones) and throw them onto a blank white sheet like an organized mess of paint splatters. (See, that doesn't make any sense. I'm telling you I'm insane.)
Heavens. Look at me. I'm actually trying to convince you that my mental state is far more removed than a normal human being's. There's something wrong with me.
But you know, I'm cool with that. I have no problem with being seen as weird or crazy. In fact, I take it as a high compliment indeed. Because if I'm being so different that people actually take notice, then I'm doing something right. Because life isn't about how well you can hide. Hide-and-seek is only fun because you have a seeker.
Flying under the radar isn't a problem until there is nothing else you focus on. If you're so obsessed with going with the flow that thinking of breaking out is immense stress, you are doing something wrong. I'm an introvert (and proud of it), but even I can recognize the importance of stepping out of the comfort zone for an evening stroll once in a while.
After all, if I decided to never let my introvert nature drop, I wouldn't be writing this blog. I wouldn't be able to grace your--gosh flippin' dang it, I can't use time again. Fine...I wouldn't be able to grace any generic time of your day with my words of wisdom and fun personality. (Come on, you know full well that it's true.)
Well, fun as this was, I think it's gone on long enough. I think it's about time you returned to more immediate and pressing matters, correct? Do your homework, eat something, use the bathroom, call a friend, take a walk, hang out with your family--because as much as I think both of us would like to deny it, we do have lives outside of this blog, and they're a little less permanent.
I hope your day is as awesome as you.
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