The Day of Giving Thanks

     It has begun: I have heard one radio station playing Christmas music.  And I love it.  Christmas is my very favorite holiday, so I naturally want to start Christmas celebratory things fairly early on.  But, I also believe in Thanksgiving.
     I mean, most people do.  I've met people who hate/don't celebrate Christmas and Easter, who hate/don't celebrate Halloween, who hate/don't celebrate Valentine's Day (and not for religious purposes), but I have never, ever, ever met a single person who hates Thanksgiving.
     Of course, it's not as if it's everyone's absolute favorite.  It's just that you can't hate it.  And let's be real here: for most of us, it is not the "thanks" part we like.  It is the food.
     Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, rolls, sweets beyond sweets--surely there is something in that list that appeals attractively to you.  And that's just the generic list of our Thanksgiving meal.  There is always so more.
     I mean, don't get me wrong: I know that we celebrate the giving of thanks--or, at least, most of us do.  Of course, we're usually guilt-tripped into being grateful for at least something, but hey, maybe guilt speeds up metabolism.
     Thanksgiving is usually pretty looked-over.  You have those hissing vehemently when anyone so much as says "Christmas" or "Jingle Bells" or "snow" while simultaneously having those setting up their Christmas tree at midnight on November 1 and fervently praying--really praying--for snowing.
     While I wouldn't necessarily say that there's anything wrong with either of those (disagree all you'd like), it's definitely something that should be handled gently, and where words like "moderation," "happy medium," and "delicate balance" should be considered.
     And now, in honor of this gracious day, I present to you a list of the top 100 most random things to be grateful for.  Disagree all you like, but as I've said, I'm writing this, not you, so chill.
     The Top 100 Most Random Things to Be Grateful For...not necessarily in order

1. Dry-erase markers

2. The ability to control volume

3. Fire is warm and bright

4. Soft blankets

5. The feel of smooth, wet glass

6. Ice (cubed, crushed, and pebbled)

7. Ice cools water

8. The color red

9. Keyboard shortcuts

10. Butter melts

11. Sugar can be colored

12. Frosting

13. Windows

14. Doorknobs/handles

15. Locks and keys

16. Microphones

17. Christmas lights

18. Snow is white (when it falls, at least)

19. Smelly markers

20. Ballpoint pens

21. Mechanical pencils

22. Wheelbarrows

23. Not everyone is the same height

24. Walking eventually becomes a very easy thing

25. Most jobs don’t require a specific mile time

26. Calcium

27. Different fonts/typefaces

28. Picture frames

29. Harps

30. Dementors aren’t real...probably

31. Not every song sounds the same

32. Heart shapes are different from the shape of a heart

33. People who are allergic to/hate chocolate (more for us who are able to eat it/aren’t heathens)

34. Clean humor still exists

35. Zodiac signs aren’t that important

36. Plants are green

37. We are the perfect distance from the sun

38. Mirrors

39. People don’t actually slip on banana peels...usually

40. Stickers

41. Staplers

42. Salt and pepper shakers

43. Math class is temporary

44. Soft animals

45. Little animal sounds

46. Otters hold hands

47. We don’t have to worry about T-rex

48. Magnifying glasses

49. Fingerprints

50. We are able to comprehend words

51. Ice cream is cold

52. Dentists

53. Sheet music

54. Music stands

55. Blogs (especially mine...you know it)

56. Animals aren’t all the same color

57. Birds can fly

58. Seatbelts

59. Gingerbread

60. Christmas ornaments

61. Circles

62. Socks are meant to come in pairs

63. Denim

64. Comfortable fabrics

65. Robots have not yet taken over the world

66. There are more colors than just the ones in the rainbow

67. Birthdays

68. Squishy things

69. Handsoap

70. Lotion

71. Towels

72. Water can be different temperatures

73. Speed limits

74. Sparkly stuff

75. Curtains/blinds

76. Natural light

77. Fruit snacks

78. Training wheels

79. Five senses

80. Dancing

81. Singing

82. Talking

83. Nail polish

84. Nail polish remover

85. Nail clippers

86. Hotels/motels

87. Grape medicine does not taste like real grapes

88. Cookies ‘n’ cream anything

89. Emojis

90. Manually alphabetizing stuff

91. There are twenty-six letters in the alphabet

92. Glasses

93. Sarcasm

94. Binders

95. Backpacks/bookbags

96. Suitcases/briefcases

97. Punctuation

98. Proper grammar and spelling

99. Top 100 lists

100. The ability to share fun(ny) things with other people

Well, there you go. I'm sure grateful for all my followers (but even more grateful for the people who actually read). I hope your day is as awesome as you.

Dating

     Quit squirming uncomfortably or giggling uncontrollably (whichever applies to you).  I don't think I need to remind you who is writing this blog.  Do you really think that I, of all people, will be writing about the joys and magic of dating?
     As a matter of fact, I couldn't write about it even if I wanted to, because I've never been on one.  Ofttimes, when others hear about this, they become extraordinarily shocked and tell me that it's the best part of high school, but chill--I don't care.  However, that does not mean that I don't have opinions on dating.
    And before you decide that this blog post is going to be too serious for your taste, chill.  This is not a rant.  You'll like my opinions, especially if we have similar personalities.
     First off, there's nothing wrong with courtesy.  I know plenty of girls that are genuinely offended when their male date holds a door open for them or whatnot.  "I can open doors by myself!" is the disgusted outcry.  Well, of course you can.  Your date is probably fully aware of the fact that females are perfectly capable of opening doors, and especially you because he likes and respects you, which is probably at least part of the reason you were asked out in the first place.  (I'll patiently wait for your jaw drops to finish.)  This is also why he'll hold open a door for you.  It's not a negative mark; it's very positive.  It's a little something called "being polite."  Believe it or not, it's not a relatively new concept.  (I'll patiently wait for you to finish being sore.)
     Another thing about dates is they'd better be fun, or at least enjoyable, for both parties involved.  I would not invite you to sit and listen to music while alphabetizing or staring at lists of names (unless you liked that sort of thing), so you'd better not be asking me out to go play sports or go shopping.  I'm not saying you have to pander to the other person, but at least be mindful of things they may not be comfortable doing, or even things they absolutely hate doing.  Again, there's that whole respect thing.
     Finally, my biggest pet peeve when it comes to dating advice is "Don't you dare take a girl out to a movie for a date because you won't be able to talk or get to know each other!"  I severely disagree.  If a guy is willing to spend money to take me to a movie we both want to see, I'll get to know him plenty (especially if he also gets popcorn).  I know that having a picnic in the grassy field of a park while watching the sun set and then talking underneath the star-sprinkled night sky is more romantic, but let's be real here: I'd rather watch Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (which I highly recommend, just so you know).  And if you're so concerned about getting to know each other, go to dinner beforehand and/or ice cream afterwards.  Chill.
     Well, that's that.  I hope I haven't offended too many of you...but I can't say I'd feel too badly if I did.  This world is too darn sensitive for me to feel bad about it anymore.
     I hope your day is as awesome as you.