Happiness

     Happiness is not the absence of suffering.
     For as long as I've known Alida Nesbitt, she's had diet issues.  In ninth grade, she tore her meniscus playing basketball and was on crutches for the better part of a year.  In eleventh grade, she passed out during a cross country meet and got a pretty bad concussion.  Since then, she's dealt with stomach, colon, and kidney issues.
     During this, she got accepted to the university she'd wanted to go to for years, but not into any of the four programs she applied for.  Without a scholarship, it was highly unlikely she could afford it, so she ended up going to the local community college instead.  She hates it.
     And yet, she's one of the happiest people I know.
     She smiles constantly, makes sure you're doing all right, asks about your life, and cheerfully goes about doing her own thing, whether that be playing an instrument or singing or dancing or just enjoying life.
     She suffers, but she's happy.
     She has a loving family and supportive friends.  She has a boyfriend who loves and respects her.  She can play and listen to music.  She's smart and funny, and she has great faith and hope for her future.
     Happiness is not the absence of heartache.
     Jacquie Dimond's best friend and closest confidant, her boyfriend, left to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints less than two weeks after they graduated high school.  She often misses him rather terribly.
     She moved three and a half hours away to attend college.  Over the course of her first semester, she had several other friends leave on missions, had an aunt pass away, and dealt with a lot more stress than she initially anticipated.
     However, she continues smiling.
     She talks about life as if it's all sunshine.  She refuses to dwell too much on the tougher parts of her life and instead chooses to look at the brighter side of everything.  She takes care of anyone and everyone she comes in contact with.
     She has problems, but she's happy.
     She's incredibly proud of her boyfriend and knows that he's doing amazing things.  Although she misses her other friends, she's equally proud of them as well.  She got to room with one of her closest friends from high school, and she grew close to her other roommates as well.  Her family continually keeps in contact, and she knows that she's where she's supposed to be.
     Happiness is not an absence of fear.
     Diana Kjar has dealt with various mental health issues for a good long while now, but they only recently became rather serious.  Between juggling her responsibilities with her sometimes strained family life, it takes a toll on her, and she says it often feels like she's drowning.
     She has found coping mechanisms that help her alleviate her stress and loneliness, but what she needs most is total relief, which is something she hasn't figured out how to find quite yet.
     Still, she pulls through remarkably well.
     Even though her life at home isn't ideal, she knows deep down that she is loved, and that she has loyal friends who will stand by her at any given moment.  She always greets people cheerfully and demonstrates incredible faith and hope.
     She's struggling, but she's happy.
     She knows that there is something greater for her in the future, and she lives each day in the knowledge that one day, even if it's not in this life, this will get better.  And so she takes life one step at a time, somehow managing to smile.
     Kamerin Ekker has been recently thrown into this whole college thing, and although she's good with it now, it was a bit of a rough transition at the beginning.  And yet, she's happy.
     Brandon Rico is far away from everyone he has known and loved, speaking a language he didn't grow up speaking, facing trials and difficulties every day.  However, he's happy.
     Savannah Colledge has suffered a variety of mental and health issues over the past few years, and that coupled with the transition to adulthood has taken its toll.  Still, she's happy.
     Happiness is not an absence.  Happiness doesn't come from deleting roadblocks and brushing away obstacles.  Happiness doesn't magically appear when life is less cluttered.  Happiness isn't a percentage that decreases when other feelings increase, and vice versa.
     Happiness is a presence.  Happiness is a conscious choice.  Happiness is looking at the approaching storm and smiling because you know the sun still exists.  Happiness is laughing at the now because it's more important than whatever's coming.
     I'm not saying that every problem you have can be cured just by smiling.  Trust me, it does not.
     Between eighth and ninth grade, I suddenly became a relatively positive and optimistic person.  For some reason, my outlook on life broadened, and I was generally more cheerful than I previously had been.
     Starting tenth grade, on the other hand, was extremely difficult, and I daresay I've never felt more lonely and sad than I did for those first few months.  I was disheartened and vulnerable, and I constantly yearned for past years.
     However, I'd wake up every morning and plaster on a smile, knowing that that was what was expected of me.  But deep inside me, I couldn't help but believe that there really would be a brighter day.
     Then, steadily, it came.  Hard days still abound, but I've found peace, and I am completely content.
     So, no, smiling in and of itself doesn't fix anything.  But you're not meant to be a dark, lonely wanderer without a sense of purpose.  And somewhere inside of the wonderful being that is you, you know that, and you unconsciously seek to demonstrate exactly who you are.
    And that's how you find happiness.
    Happiness is a presence, not an absence.
    "So count your blessings every day.  It makes the monsters go away.  And everything will be okay.
    "You are not alone.  You are right at home.  Goodnight."